I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas I will not watch dramas..... Ahhh shit, too late.

Welcome to my new obsession:

Well.... that resolution flew out the window pretty fast. To be fair though, I did last a term without watching anything Korean. At first I consoled myself with the fact that after week of grueling exams, I at least deserved this. But now, the guilt's starting to creep up on me. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?! I can feel the drama crack kickin' in already. Ugh. Addiction. Such a hard thing to break.

Oh well, I should at least enjoy the eye candy while I can. This is a really interesting one. It's called Shut Up! Flower Boy Band. Hahahaha. Yeah, unfortunately they had to stick the "flower boy" in there because it's a brand thing. Apart from that though, it's not actually a very "flowery" type drama. It's got that really gritty, indie feel to it which I like. Not many Korean dramas do that. And so far, none of the characters have made me want to punch something.... True, the main girl kind of gets on my nerves a little - but that's only because she resembles one of my least-liked cousins. What can I say? I can be rather petty at times :)

Wanna hear something gross? No? Well I'll tell you anyway.

There are mice in my house.

Eww.

Last time we had mice, my dad set up mouse traps and I think we caught one. They didn't bother us anymore after that.

But now, THEY ARE BACK. And they are back with a vengeance!

It's like that first dead mice somehow told all his family members to come avenge him, 4 years after his death or something. In the past few days, we have caught three mice in the traps. I only had to clean up one of them, thank God - my dad and sister did the rest. By the way, cleaning up involves grabbing the "claw-grippy" thing from the garage, picking up the trap from the floor using said instrument, depositing the trap into a plastic bag and dumping it into the bin.

That's not the worst part. Just two hours ago, we smelt something totally disgusting in the kitchen and it was coming from the back of the stove. My dad pulled the stove out and OMG THERE WAS A DEAD MOUSE LYING THERE IN THE CREVICES ON THE BACK OF THE STOVE.

I am so grossed out.

Eww. Ewww. EWWWWWW. Can't even un-see it.

My family is not dirty. We don't leave food lying out everywhere and neither do we drop crumbs all over the kitchen floor or anything. After having had mice in our house four years ago, we have been extremely extremely careful about hygiene. That's why I think the mice are actually coming from our neighbours. Living in a townhouse, it's possible that the mice are somehow travelling through holes or yards that join each house. And to be honest, our neighbours aren't exactly neat-freaks. They've had rubbish and signs out on their front yard for days and they haven't even bothered cleaning them up. Come on! How hard could it be? You pick up the rubbish, walk over to the nearest bin and put it in. Duh! Even Nancy could do that! (haha jokes).

But seriously. If you don't clean it up, who's going to do it? We're not going to suddenly walk over to your house and pick up the junk in your garden/in front of your house. And that goes for the stuff in your yard as well. Ugh.

*SPOILER ALERT* If you haven't watched the movie yet, you might want to steer clear of this post, just in case it spoils the experience.

So I watched 'The Hunger Games' today...

Yeah, I'm not really sure what I should say. It's a bit strange, having waited so long for a book to be adapted into a movie. I think I'm still a bit shell-shocked actually... What is my purpose in life now? I'm not sure if you've noticed but "The Hunger Games" made up about 60% of my blog posts, haha (I'm such a sad case). There's nothing else to look forward to in life! Unless you count waiting for Catching Fire to come out... Oh God I cannot wait. That book was even more epic than the first.

The Verdict:

I liked the movie. I think it was really well done. Converting a 300-something paged book into a 2 hour 15 minute film is no easy feat and I THINK it was done in a way that made it understandable to people who have never read said book. There were some really epic moments... but then there were also some duds and I will explain these below.

Yay! List time!

I liked:

The actors/actresses. Jennifer Lawrence was epic (obviously), and Josh Hutcherson was also pretty good. I especially liked his shocked face at the reaping scene LOL. His gobsmacked expression was unintentionally funny. Most of the tributes seemed to fit the descriptions in the book - although that probably has more to do with the fact that I've gotten so used to the casting. The only one who didn't look like the original character was Josh (Peeta). I always pictured him as tall and lanky but whatever, it's the acting that counts, right?

The Capitol. It was pretty. I like pretty things.

The training montage... where all the tributes go off and do thier own stuff. Clove was so badass with her knives and Foxface did that cool insect/plant thingy on the digital screen. Oh and Rue stole Cato's knife LOL.

When Peeta picked up the dumbbell and chucked it across the room, I felt like cheering. You show them Peeta! Chucked it like a sack of flour, he did.

Prim. She was good, in the few scenes that she had. Rue was great as well.

The explosion after Katniss shoots the apples. That felt immensely satisfying. It was like, psshhewww and then KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

The gore. Probably a strange thing to say but the book was really confronting. I would have hated it if they'd tried to sugercoat the whole thing. It wouldn't have been as effective.

Peeta's camouflage technique. Haha. Nothing like icing cakes to save your life.

Seneca Crane's beard. 'Nuff said.

I hated:

Just how... rushed it felt I suppose. I know it's really really hard to condense such a multilayered world into a 2 hour movie but they could have at least lengthened the moments after their victory. I swear that whole aftermath went by in like 5 minutes. AND THEY MISSED A VERY IMPORTANT SCENE. (See below).

The shaky cam. Oh God, that darned shaky cam! Whose idea was it to film it that way? Was it a low budget thing? Was it an intentional trying-to-be-suspenseful-and-realistic thing? I don't know. All I know is that it was distracting, especially when you have to really focus to try to picture the whole scene.

The special effects... if you can even call them that. That parade/float scene was one of the best moments of the book, mostly because of how epic Suzanne Collins described their costumes. I don't have the book here with me but if I did, I would quote from it. Those flames looked really fake and cheesy. The mutts were also supposed to be the dead tributes in mutated form but I guess that would be asking too much of the special effects team. I did like Katniss' dress though.

Some scenes just didn't have the same emotional resonance as what I'd experienced when reading the book. This was probably a time thing. They didn't let the Rue/Katniss relationship to develop (Rue never got to talk about her love of singing, etc) so when Rue died, it was a bit... lukewarm. Same goes for the Peeta/Katniss relationship. Their whole "romance" in the cave thing as well as outside the arena took up a significant portion of the book but I feel like they just glazed over it in the movie.

The cat was the wrong colour LOL. How hard is it to find an orange cat? Jokes. Now I'm just being petty.

Things they really should have included in the movie:

Peeta's line after Katniss steps on him while he's camouflaged on the banks on the river. He says, "You here to finish me off, sweetheart?" Heh. Also missed out a bijillion other lines but I won't get into that.

When Clove threatens Katniss with a knife, Katniss spits blood in her face. Pretty badass.

The whole "kiss Peeta and receive food" thing Haymitch and Katniss had going on. In the books, Katniss really milked the relationship with Peeta for all it was worth. For her, it was all a facade - something she had to do to keep the audience entertained and stay alive. But obviously, she got emotionally evolved in the end. On the other hand, Peeta was actually being sincere when he said he liked Katniss and there was such a palpable sense of conflict and pain in the books over that. There's a very important scene near the end of the book when Katniss and Peeta are on the train travelling back home to district 12. Peeta finds out that the whole "romance" was just for show and that Haymitch and Katniss had actually been planning it behind his back. They never really communicated that in the movie.

The whole confusion after the game thing. When Katniss wakes up to find that she's all healed and she's crazy with worry about Peeta. And then they only get to see each other for the first time after the game when Katniss goes on stage for the interview. She runs into his arms, knocks him over and they full make out LOL. On live television too.

The ending berry scene wasn't done well. Didn't feel it. Didn't believe it for one second.

After Katniss sings to Rue after her death, the mockingjays were supposed to pick up the song and do a kind of interwoven, harmony loop thing that echoed throughout the forest.

Rue's district was supposed to send bread to Katniss as thanks.

Foxface died. Just like that. Not even a proper explanation about the berries. It was like, "Oh hey look, she's dead. The berries must have been poisoned. Oh noes! We nearly ate them! Oh well."

Characters that magically disappeared. Like Madge. Although actually, that was probably a good thing.

They glossed over some minor details. Like the appearance of the other districts' floats and the interviews for the rest of the tributes.

In conclusion though, I did like the movie despite its faults. Obviously, the books will always be fifty times more entertaining/resonant/heart-wrenching but I think they did a pretty good job with the resources they were given. Didn't hurt to have Suzanne Collins as the script-writer either.

To end off, here have a picture of the tributes in Vanity Fair.

Kind of makes you forget that everyone ends up killing everyone else LOL.

The hipster of the 70s':

English extension tomorrow:

"To what extent does Coleridge's poetry and Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights reflect common Romanticist sentiments of the 18th-19th Century."

Me: ....... I have no fucking idea. BUT I CAN DANCE THE WUTHERING HEIGHTS SONG FOR YOU IF YOU WANT!!!! *starts doing weird gyrating movement in the middle of the hall*

Lols. Oh Kate Bush, what have you done to me? Now the only thing I can think of when someone says "Emily Bronte" is that line, "wuthering, wuthering, wuthering heights, Heathcliffe!"

Taemin, what the frack did they do to your hair?!?!



Seriously this has got to stop! Who gave you permission to have nicer hair than me?? WHO??

^ is what I shall be doing for the next 7 days.

And then on the last day, I can go spaz over THE HUNGER GAMES, aka the movie I've been waiting for since 2009. LOL okay, that sounds kind of sad.

Hopefully all goes well and I won't have to spend the next few weeks in a slump of despair over a botched up exam.

OKAY GUYS, LET'S STUDY!

English Extension 1 makes my face look like this.



It makes me contemplate jumping off a cliff. Or curling into a fetal position. Or doing committing some form of self-destructive behaviour.

I'm not happy. I feel worse than the time I stuffed up that maths test. And that was only 10%. Imagine how bad it feels to stuff up something worse - something that's worth 30%.

Yeah I feel kind of crap right now.

I was reading one of Karen Marie Moning's books (she's romance novelist), when I came across this:

Gwen shrugged, a mysterious smile playing about her lips. "There are lots of legends in Scotland about such stones." She paused. "Some people say they're portals to another time."

"I read a romance novel like that once."

"You read romance novels?" Gwen exclaimed, delighted.

The next few moments were filled with a hasty comparison of favorite titles, female bonding, and recommendations.

"I knew I liked you." Gwen beamed. "When you were talking earlier about the history of all those artifacts, I was afraid you might be the stuffy literary type. Nothing against literary novels," she added hastily, "but if I want to get all existential and depressed, I'll pick a fight with my husband or watch CNN."

Heyyyy.... I see what you did there.... A bit of self referencing eh, Mrs Moning?

Why is my belonging story so long??? Does anyone else have around 1000 words or is it just me?

I was talking about this one:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/112754.Kiss_of_the_Highlander

Click it Lyanna.... you know you want to... *does creepy waggly eyebrow thing*

Don't be turned off by the craptastic cover. Or the genre. I didn't think I'd like it either cause I don't usually read those type of books but this one was surprisingly clever.

Oh and if you're like me and you suffer from MRIOS (Must Read In Order Syndrome), don't worry because for a book like this, it doesn't really matter. The stories don't carry on so you don't have to start from the first one.

(It's a pretty light, easy read though so don't go expecting something deep and meaningful LOL). And err, beware of some of the uh, scenes, if you know what I mean.

My ass is hurting like nobody's business. But I will get to that in a minute. For now, here's Taylor Swift's new contribution to The Hunger Games soundtrack.

I heard from some of the fansites that people who've gone to advanced screenings say that didn't actually hear any of the songs on the soundtrack being played during the movie. I kind of wanted to hear Safe and Sound somewhere in there but I suppose it makes sense not to include them if it detracts from the believability of a scene.

Oh and The Civil Wars (who I swear are going to become my musical addiction of 2012) also have two songs on the soundtrack as well.

So as I was saying before, my butt really hurts. My thighs and feet hurt as well - damn Cross Country. To be fair, this year's one was actually quite fun. I never knew I would say that... cross country was... fun. I think it's because I'm in year 12 and everything magically becomes ten times more amusing when you're the oldest grade in the school. In the earlier years, you take everything so seriously but now it's just like, MEH.

I also quite liked it because I actually placed in this year's run. I came 11th LOL. Funny story actually - I never expected to place so I walked for half of the 4 kms thinking, "What's the point of trying to get back so early?" I got to the finish line and walked straight past the time keeper people and then when the teacher asked if I'd gotten a ticket, I said "no". But then Mr J ran up and said, "Actually she did get a ticket. She came 11th," and I did a double-take. Haha, I should have just ran as much as I could.

Sitting there afterwards on the silver bench whilst licking my zooper dooper ice block was a very satisfying feeling. I felt proud of myself.... for about 10 minutes. And then I realised that the only reason I placed was because in previous years, I'd raced people of a higher age than me and since I am now categorised as one of the "older people" I no longer have to compete with those others. So yeah, my satisfaction was short-lived.

After school, a few of us went to Villawood for laser-tag and bowling. And can I just say, bowling is like the most retarded thing every invented. It's not fun at all. AT ALL. GRRRRRRRrrrr.

Okay, maybe it was a leeeeettle bit fun. But still. I also firmly believe that Juliana took drugs on the second round. That's how she magically became so good at bowling.

In the end, we took photos at a train station... cause like taking photos in nice places is so mainstream.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just write a story about fairies and castles and princesses for my Major Work. It's true, those things are a hundred times more appealing than a blogging-correspondence story set in the 21st century. Certainly, if I'd done something whimsical and fluffy, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't feel like hurling myself off the Sydney Harbour Bridge every time I work on the blasted thing.

But then I remember that the stories that get higher marks are the ones that have some sort of "meaningful content". Like grief.... or cancer.... or a complex philosophical theory such as post-post-modernism. It also doesn't help that my image of an extension 2 HSC marker is some kind of upper-middle-class urbanite who watches French films (without the subtitles) in his/her spare time.

Oh pooface :( THIS PROJECT IS LIKE BELLA'S BABY. IT WON'T STOP DRAINING MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE.

So with all the assessments and stuff that have been going on lately, I nearly forgot that The Hunger Games was coming out next week. It's true; I've been posting all the videos and getting all hyped up and stuff but it kind of slipped my mind when the actual release date was (23rd March, if you're wondering).

Before I go any further, I think I WILL be going laser tag after all guys. I need to shoot something - preferably my Extension 2 Major Work but I'll make do with shooting Nancy instead.

Ahem. Okay so since we have our half yearlies in Week 10 and next week we'll probably be holed up in our rooms studying, I figured that if anyone's interested, we could go see the movie next, next Friday. As in on the 31st of March (End of week 10). I'm pretty sure exams finish on that day anyway (my last one is Legal Studies and honestly, I'm going to need the excitement, otherwise I'll fall into a coma whilst writing my shelter essay).

If there are clashes with the time then we can schedule it to another day.

So let me know if you guys are interested. Actually even if you're not interested, I'll probably end up pressuring you to go watch it with me. I'm very good at doing that.... wearing people down until they end up shouting, "FINE YOU LOSER, I'LL GO JUST TO MAKE YOU SHUT UP!"

Okay guys? OKAY! I'M SO EXCITEDDDDDDDD!!!! *flails arms around like a crazy Italian grandma*

BTW, the movie premiered in America yesterday and from what I can see from the fansites, it has stayed really really true to the books. Obviously, if Susanne Collins is writing the script, it's kind of expected. The response seems to be overwhelming positive so far.

Anyhow, here, have some pictures of beautiful people looking beautiful at The Hunger Games Premiere:





I like this one because the fire in the background looks like wings :)



Foxface (Jackie Emerson)



Prim, who by the way has awesome hair.... or maybe it's just the lighting, I'm not really sure.



Rue *cries tears of sadness forever*



Clove, played by that creepy girl from Orphan.



Alexander Ludwig - who I heard was BRILLIANT in the film.



Seneca Crane, I think?



And the lovely Suzanne Collins and Gary Ross.

Photo source: www.mockingjay.net

Here's your weekly dose of music from another obscure, unknown band. (No really, the band is called 10cm). You're welcome.

(This one sounds best when it's played in a sunny, tropical place with plenty of pina coladas at hand).

Every time I hear Liam's voice, I do a double-take because it's just so Australian. Living in Aus, you don't really notice that there's an accent but once you grab an Aussie actor and shove him in an American production, it just becomes like, a billion times more pronounced.

On a side note though, it feels like the whole HG phase is picking up speed now. Walking round school at lunch and recess, you notice more people carrying the books or talking about it. My sister says the same thing's happening at her school. Whereas before, people would just give you a "WTF is The Hunger Games, it must be a crap book because I've never heard of it" look, now they're fangirling in the hallways and saying stuff like, "OMG, the movie is gonna be so awesome!"

I'm happy for it - the book deserves to get so much more recognition. But I suppose it grates a little that people are only getting into it now. That's a common feeling I guess. You see it everywhere (on youtube most especially): the whole "I saw this song/book/movie much earlier than you did so therefore I have a much bigger "claim" to it," mentality. Ha. I should stop being so petty. Everyone has a right to spaz over The Hunger Games, regardless of when they read it. After all, I also have a tendency to get into things a bit late (especially when it comes to music).

I was walking with Verena to free period when in typical Verena fashion, she turned around and yelled at this random guy in another year. He'd said or did something insulting so Verena fixes him with a death glare and goes, "I'M GOING TO DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE!!!!"

I LOL'd a little.

During my piano lesson today, my teacher had one of her granddaughters over. She was just walking round the living room while I had my lesson. Anyway, about 15 minutes into the lesson, she approaches my teacher and goes, "Hey Nana, my shoes and socks are wet. Can I take them off?" My teacher goes, "Of course. Leave your socks on the edge of the bidet."

So she walks off into the bathroom but then comes back out a few seconds later.

"What's a bidet?"

My teacher goes, "It's that thing next to the toilet."

"What thing?"

"Do I really have to come over there and show you?" sighs my teacher.

"OH!" The granddaughter exclaims. "You mean the BUTT-WASHY thing!"

I LOL'd again.

And on the drive back from piano, my dad showed me what he'd been doing on his BlackBerry. He'd been reading this article about 50 bizarre U.S. laws and laughing to himself in his car: http://www.divinecaroline.com/22323/99603-i-m-arrest-what-fifty-bizarre

You should read it too. It really is quite bizarre. Apparently it's illegal to eat oranges whilst taking a bath in California. In Florida, if you tie your elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would a vehicle. Oh and this one's for you Donovan: In Indiana, the value of pi is 4, and not 3.1415.... Go figure.

Looking at Uni scholarships is quite depressing. Of course I want to make it easier on my family when I go uni. I want to reduce the costs as much as possible because uni is definitely not cheap. But like, have you guys seen the qualifications for these things? UTS has a type of scholarship which is worth $12,500 but they only give out 5 every year. And guess what? You need an ATAR of above 99.9.

.......

........

...........

And USYD has merit scholarships of $6000 per year which require a minimum ATAR of 95 plus other achievements. Plus other achievements? Err I don't really have any other achievements unless you count "especially gifted at making horrible violin noises". *insert sad face*

Darn it. I wish I could trade my UWS one (which I effectively got by doing nothing) for one that I actually need. I feel so bad for wasting it but I'm not going to force myself to go to a uni just for the money, y'know?

So I woke up today and my face was like this:



My parents were screaming at each last night so I got approximately 0.000032 hours of sleep. Okay maybe a little bit more than that, but judging from how craptastic I felt in the morning, it sure didn't feel like it.

I don't even know what they were yelling about. I think it had something to do with packing school lunches though. Anyway, my mum was still in one of her pissy moods this morning and she nearly bit my head off when I said "Good morning". She accused me of sneaking up on her (which I found hilarious because I'm about as ninja as a blind elephant) and told, no, DEMANDED I apologize straight away.

Seriously? Apologize for saying good morning? *insert wtf emotion here*

Yup, my mum is scary sometimes.

My inner hipster has been posting a lot of American/British indie or whatnot but I'll take a break from that and post something Korean today. It's not exactly "k-pop" as in the electronic/mascara wearing idols stuff so you know, if you're allergic to that type of music, don't worry, I won't subject you to it.

First off, I LOVE this song. Have loved it for so many years but for some reason, I've never blogged about it. It is my go-to song for when things are going crap in life but I also listen to it when I'm happy. I don't know... I guess it's just a song for every occassion. I can't possibly express my love for it so maybe you should just watch it yourself.

Here, enjoy the slo-mo:

This was also the song that I sent to the music teacher once for a class analysis thingy. (It wasn't Mrs M, this guy was like a temp or something). Technically he did say we could send him anything so I was kinda like, "Hey sucker, imma gonna expose you to some Korean indie and see how you react". Also this happened a week before I decided to drop music so I was kinda just bludging throughout all the lessons. He didn't really react though. He just said "good analysis" and then told Bonnie off for sending him Rebecca Black. I thought that was a bit unfair. The guy seriously needed to take a chill pill.

I'm BAAAACCKKKKK!!!

Hehe. After watching Natalie Tran's latest teaser, I just really wanted to say that.

So anyway. It's Saturday. And I just finished working on my EX2 project so I'm in a good mood. (Picture a standard sine graph - my mood is probably at the point t= pi/2). Which means I actually feel like blogging for once. *GASP* A proper blog? As in a post that exceeds 100 words? No way!

Yes way guys. Yes way.

So since this is the last year of school, I must say that I have some regrets. Let me just voice them here.

1) I wish I could have made a band during high school. Like a proper band with ze drums and guitars and keyboards and maybe a cello (cause cellos are cool). It would have been so awesome. I feel like its a staple - during your high school life, you must have attempted to form a band... and failed. But I didn't and I regret it. Maybe it comes from being an introvert... people won't approach you and go, "Hey you! Why don't we form a band?" because you're too busy creeping people out with your unapproachable-ness. Yeah that's probably it.

2) If not a band, I would have at least wanted a singing buddy. This urge has increased the more I listen to stuff from The Civil Wars. Their harmonies are so beautiful. I wish I had someone who wanted to sing stuff like that with me. Don't get me wrong, Tian is a great singing buddy but we tend to muck around, doing stuff like serenading Nancy at recess and lunch, more than we actually "sing". Heck, I don't even have to sing, I just want to make music with someone. They could hand me a triangle and go "let's cover this song" and I would be all like, HELL YEAH. Haha I just realised how cheesy that sounds... "make music with someone". Not in that way guys, not in that way.

3) I regret having felt "stressed" in Years 7-10. WTF man. What was I thinking? I should've just watched more dramas during those years.

4) I regret only having become friends with some people in the last two years. We've had almost SIX YEARS in high school and I only get to know you now?? Oh the wasted years!

5) I regret kind of holing myself into a stereotype. You know how sometimes, spending an insane amount of time with some people turns you into a different person? And then you kind of wonder, is this really the person I am or is this what my context/surroundings have turned me into? What happens if I'd let myself branch out a little? What would my high school life had been like? It's true, your surroundings do shape the person you are. Some people start feeling antsy and break away to explore their potential. Some, like me, feel way too comfortable in their established zones and therefore, don't bother. But that doesn't mean you still don't wonder, right? Okay you probably don't know what I'm going on about. Cheers if you're still reading.

6) I (kind of) regret having dropped music... sometimes. But then I think of EX2 and I think of all the english extension 1 essays I have to write and I'm like, HELL YEAH THANK GOD I DROPPED THAT SHIT.

So yeah those are my regrets. There are probably more but I can't think of them now.

Oh and the other day, I was thinking of what I wished my life would be like in 5-10 years. Seeing as this is real life and things never work out the way you want them to (knowing me, I'd probably end up as a teacher after having failed a Media and Communications Course), I decided I might as well have fun "designing" my dream life on this blog. So here's my dream life in a series of Google Images:

This would be my house, or more specifically, my penthouse:

And before you ask, it would be situated in France somewhere. Which means I would be pretty fluent in French by then.

It's okay, you can laugh at the failed jump shot.

If not a penthouse, I'd just get something else. Nothing fancy y'know. Just like, a mansion maybe.

To afford said penthouse/mansion, I would need to be a high ranking magazine editor. Probably not a fashion magazine though because fashion and I go together like hipsters and Justin Bieber (read = not very compatible):

I would also, kind of, want to be like, married to like, Lee Min Ho.....

And have a lot of kittens running around my apartment.

Oh and I want a butler! I've always wanted a butler. Kind of like the one from Batman.

And there you go, my dream life. Haha looking at these pictures, I realize I am such a materialistic person. Whatever. I did say a DREAM life.