I was talking to Elyn in maths on Friday and we were discussing our dream jobs - jobs that we would have pursued if it wasn't for real life and its responsibilities. I have got so many of these. It seems like every few years, I change my mind about what I want to do (which is normal I suppose). I'll list a few of them out here. These are in chronological order.
1) A VET
To a 5-7 year old, becoming a vet seemed like a perfectly achievable life goal. All you had to do was like animals (or so I thought). It helped that I thought vets only took care of animals (as opposed to performing operations, giving injections, etc.). In hindsight, I was probably thinking more along the lines of animal-shelter caretaker.
Why is it not achievable now? My total lack of interest in science, probably. To be fair though, if I had to choose a science, I would have chosen biology anyway. Sometimes I wonder if my animosity towards science stemmed from the subject itself or the teacher(s). I know for a fact if my legal studies teacher was different, I would've already dropped that subject like a hot potato back in March.
2) AN AUTHOR
Thank you J.K. Rowling, for letting me think for a while that there was no reason why I couldn't write a few books and become a famous, multibillionaire, award-winning author in the span of a few years. It was a nice thought while it lasted. I blame it on that documentary - the one that shows her frequenting coffee shops with her laptop and writing whenever inspiration strikes. Such a glorious, simple and satisfying career. Too bad I have neither the talent, bravery nor patience to attempt a career as an author. Knowing me, the first rejection letter would've sent me scurrying back to my hole. Then I would have had to spend the rest of my life as a failed-author trying to make ends meet whilst leeching off friends and family.
3) A LIBRARIAN
"If you can't be an author, be a librarian" was the reason for this career choice. I like books. I could gladly spend all day being surrounded by them (although nowadays, libraries don't even need librarians - eveything is self-service). Tian and I made up this glorious plan where she would design a library for me and I would run it. We imaged ornately-decorated, spiral staircases, giant fireplaces and comfy couches where people could just curl up and read. But then people kept telling me that librarians don't earn much (is that true? I haven't checked) and that it was a job of wasted potential. That last past probably isn't true. Being a librarian is hard work (according to the career booklet LOL and requires a five-level educational rating).
5) SOMETHING TO DO WITH TRAVELLING
I didn't mind what it was, as long as I could travel. Working on Getaway would've been a dream job. Highly unattainable of course, but still a dream job. My boss would've been like, "We're sending you to France for two weeks. You're to experience everything and record it on a blog/write an article/etc." and I would've been like, "Oh sure, no probs. I got this," and all the while, I would be doing a screaming, happy dance inside. Then I could add to my collection of hotel shampoos and conditioners. All those little bottles and soaps... eek! HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE?!?
5) A JOURNALIST
...Didn't seem like such a bad job.... until I started Year 12 and realised that HSC year had quashed any last lingering amount of love I might have had for English. Literally quashed. Imagine a cockaroach. Now imagine a giant, booted foot descending on said cockaroach like in one of those ads on TV. My love for english resembles the amount of viewers for Gossip Girl over a set amount of time - it is exponentially decreasing. I hate the stupid subject. I hate it with a passion. Also, print-media journalism is a dying career so you have to be ultra-competitive to get a job. I'm still thinking of some kind of communications degree though. Doesn't have to be journalism.
**************
Everything was so much simpler when I was little. You think you can do anything when you're small - be an astronaut, a super athlete, a world-famous writer. In comparison, real life sucks shit.
Oh and look what I found in the corner of my backyard. It's been gathering dust and braving the elements for nearly six years now.
Compare the pair, LOL. 2007 (or was it 2008?) vs 2012.
I'm BAAAACCKKKKK!!!
Hehe. After watching Natalie Tran's latest teaser, I just really wanted to say that.
So anyway. It's Saturday. And I just finished working on my EX2 project so I'm in a good mood. (Picture a standard sine graph - my mood is probably at the point t= pi/2). Which means I actually feel like blogging for once. *GASP* A proper blog? As in a post that exceeds 100 words? No way!
Yes way guys. Yes way.
So since this is the last year of school, I must say that I have some regrets. Let me just voice them here.
1) I wish I could have made a band during high school. Like a proper band with ze drums and guitars and keyboards and maybe a cello (cause cellos are cool). It would have been so awesome. I feel like its a staple - during your high school life, you must have attempted to form a band... and failed. But I didn't and I regret it. Maybe it comes from being an introvert... people won't approach you and go, "Hey you! Why don't we form a band?" because you're too busy creeping people out with your unapproachable-ness. Yeah that's probably it.
2) If not a band, I would have at least wanted a singing buddy. This urge has increased the more I listen to stuff from The Civil Wars. Their harmonies are so beautiful. I wish I had someone who wanted to sing stuff like that with me. Don't get me wrong, Tian is a great singing buddy but we tend to muck around, doing stuff like serenading Nancy at recess and lunch, more than we actually "sing". Heck, I don't even have to sing, I just want to make music with someone. They could hand me a triangle and go "let's cover this song" and I would be all like, HELL YEAH. Haha I just realised how cheesy that sounds... "make music with someone". Not in that way guys, not in that way.
3) I regret having felt "stressed" in Years 7-10. WTF man. What was I thinking? I should've just watched more dramas during those years.
4) I regret only having become friends with some people in the last two years. We've had almost SIX YEARS in high school and I only get to know you now?? Oh the wasted years!
5) I regret kind of holing myself into a stereotype. You know how sometimes, spending an insane amount of time with some people turns you into a different person? And then you kind of wonder, is this really the person I am or is this what my context/surroundings have turned me into? What happens if I'd let myself branch out a little? What would my high school life had been like? It's true, your surroundings do shape the person you are. Some people start feeling antsy and break away to explore their potential. Some, like me, feel way too comfortable in their established zones and therefore, don't bother. But that doesn't mean you still don't wonder, right? Okay you probably don't know what I'm going on about. Cheers if you're still reading.
6) I (kind of) regret having dropped music... sometimes. But then I think of EX2 and I think of all the english extension 1 essays I have to write and I'm like, HELL YEAH THANK GOD I DROPPED THAT SHIT.
So yeah those are my regrets. There are probably more but I can't think of them now.
Oh and the other day, I was thinking of what I wished my life would be like in 5-10 years. Seeing as this is real life and things never work out the way you want them to (knowing me, I'd probably end up as a teacher after having failed a Media and Communications Course), I decided I might as well have fun "designing" my dream life on this blog. So here's my dream life in a series of Google Images:
This would be my house, or more specifically, my penthouse:
And before you ask, it would be situated in France somewhere. Which means I would be pretty fluent in French by then.
It's okay, you can laugh at the failed jump shot.
If not a penthouse, I'd just get something else. Nothing fancy y'know. Just like, a mansion maybe.
To afford said penthouse/mansion, I would need to be a high ranking magazine editor. Probably not a fashion magazine though because fashion and I go together like hipsters and Justin Bieber (read = not very compatible):
I would also, kind of, want to be like, married to like, Lee Min Ho.....
And have a lot of kittens running around my apartment.
Oh and I want a butler! I've always wanted a butler. Kind of like the one from Batman.
And there you go, my dream life. Haha looking at these pictures, I realize I am such a materialistic person. Whatever. I did say a DREAM life.
Have you ever dreamt about being best friends to someone you know? In your dream you feel so close and so connected. You know that you can tell them everything and in turn, they will lean on you when they need you most. It's a friendship that everyone else envies and one that makes you feel like the luckiest person in the world. Have you ever woken up from that dream feeling blissfully happy.... and then realised that it was just that, a dream. You then realize that in real life, there is no reason for you to be talking to that person and similarly they wouldn't bother sparing you a second glance because you have absolutely nothing in common with them. Yeah, I just had that dream and now I feel like a big chunk has been ripped out of my life. DREAM, Y U NO LYK ME?!?!
Last night I dreamt that I was pregnant.... and it was the most horrifying moment of my life. I haven't gotten a nightmare in ages - AGES. Like I literally think it's been years since I've had a nightmare. But this one totally made up for it, because for a second there, I really believed it. I believed that for some strange reason I'd gotten pregnant LOL. I had to tell my parents and then I had to tell the school. And then it sunk in that I would have to put school on hold even though I was so close to doing my HSC. My future was ruined. I would have to take care of a baby for the rest of my life - a baby that I absolutely did not want and did not care for at all. My five and a half years of school would be flushed down the drain, I had no money and it was very likely that without any qualifications, I would have no job either. It was so messed up. And when I woke up and realised that it was just a dream, it was just the most extreme feeling of relief ever. Words cannot describe how grateful I was. STUPID DREAM BABY, Y U RUIN MY LIFE FOR?!?!?!
Well there you go. Just a spot of extreme randomness that I had to get off my chest. I would take being Princess Speck over being pregnant any day.
...my school would look like this,
or maybe this,
which, I would like to add is a real school. I found it while browsing random blogs. My house would look like this:
or maybe this,
with a swimming pool like this,
and a library like this,
My job would involve this,
and I would have many friends like this,.
Plus a few odds n' ends.
Happy Late Halloween? (SHINee style)
"Fear less, hope more;I don't really understand how you can "eat less and chew more" but I guess this one can't be taken too literally. Although, I do like it cause it rhymes.
eat less, chew more;
whine less, breathe more;
talk less, say more;
love more, and all good things will be yours." -
Swedish Proverb
USUI FTW! XD
Last night I dreamt that I'd gotten a tattoo and I spent the whole day at school trying to hide it from people. And when I got home, I was fully paranoid that my parents would find out as well. It was such a pretty tattoo though. It made me want to get one in real life - and then I remembered that that would involve needles piercing my skin and injecting some kind of ink into the layer beneath my skin and it would probably hurt.... a lot. Yeh... Reading Ink Exchange before sleeping is not a good influence.
Haven't done this in a while....
*****
Last night I dreamt that I went to Killa Burgers' with Tian, Nancy, and our isters and brothers. It wasn't the one near our house though. For some reason, this restaurant was situated at the end of a LONG WINDY road smack bang in the middle of nowhere. We arrived there and everyone ordered. Except for me. For some reason, I seemed to have lost my voice and I couldn't say anything. I remember feeling really sad :(
Then we drove back home, with all six of us squished into a normal family car. I'm not sure who was driving but somewhere in the middle of the trip, we ended up back on the LONG WINDY road and this time, the road was full of people from school. It was similar to a parade and some Year 10s were just skipping down the road O_O.
Anyway, there were police patrolling the area and they were doing random breath testing. All six of us in the car started panicking because there were only supposed to be five people to a car. So then, we kicked out Amy and made her ride in some random's car. Heh... sorry Amy.
We then continued driving down the street until we reached a point where cars were not allowed. So we got out and started walking with the rest of the "parade". I remember looking down from a cliff on the side of the road and staring at a river.For some reason, all five of us ended up on the side of the road just watching the parade go past. I think I asked Nancy what we were doing there and she said, "We're waiting for Amy." And then she gave me a look that was like, It's your fault for kicking Amy out of the car. Some Year 10s from school joined us on the side of the road and started chatting about something random. I kept looking at the parade of people, trying to find Amy but it was hard to see with all the banners and streamers blocking my view. I wondered why everyone was celebrating.
And then a bird shitted on me, someone screamed and then I woke up.
It's strange how I remembered this dream so well. Usually, I remember bits and pieces and then find a way to join them all together but this one just stuck in my mind. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure the celebration was for the start of Term 4 and that scares me.
Auntie: You have anything to wear to Rebecca's party?
Tian: Ewww! I don't want to wear a dress-
Auntie: You can wear pink...
Tian: EWW NO!
Auntie: Tian, you don't have a dress?
Tian: I don't even have any boobs to wear a dress.
Auntie: I HAVE!!!
LOL. My auntie actually meant she had a dress for Tian to wear but when we heard it like that... well it sounded like she was saying she had boobs.
Geee, thanks Othilia, for announcing to the whole class + Ms N that I thought Johnny Depp had sex appeal. That was EXTREMELY NICE OF YOU. It made me turn red -like a cherry- (according to jun).
Yesterday, I was waiting outside the tutoring place for someone to pick me up and while I was waiting, I started eavesdropping on these two guys who also went to my tutor. Their conversation went something like this:
Guy 1: something something fuck something something bashed something fuck something bastard something awesome something broke his neck something something fuck something that guy something something fuck something got bashed something awesome.
Guy 2: uh huh...
Guy 1: Fuck something something something shit something something far out
something fuck something fuck something shit something I was like something
something dude something fuck.Guy 2: uh huh...
I felt sorry for Guy 2 because he seemed so bored. You could almost see the thought bubble on top of his head saying "SAVE ME!"
I haven't done this for a while but I think I'm gonna start again - Here is what I dreamt about last night:
I was shopping with my mum at this really fancy shopping centre. It had all
marble floors, white walls, golden rails and a HUGE chandelier on the ceiling.
We went into a shop and my mum bumped into an old friend but before she could
introduce me, I ran away. I then went exploring on my own and found BANJOSECT.
We all started exploring together but then, we bumped into these bitchy, rich
girls who kept thinking they were better than us. They wouldn't leave us alone,
no matter which floor or shop we were in.The dream then changed and I found myself at a camp full of kids. There were
different houses for each group of kids and I was in one that had ugly green
walls and dark rooms. After settling in, I went outside to the campfire and
climbed up a huge wall made up of bales of hay. I watched from this wall as the
Jonas Brothers arrived. Then for some strange reason, Nick Jonas climbed up the
wall and asked me if I wanted to dance (LOL). I said yes and then we started
waltzing on the bales of hay.My dream changed again and this time, I was watching from an outsider's point
of view. I watched as a girl from my cabin/house snuck into the kitchen and
stole our supervisor's special donuts. She quickly ran out of the house but not
before the supervisor saw her. The angry supervisor started chasing the girl
around the field and the whole time, the girl was trying to stuff the donut into
her mouth to destroy the evidence.And then I woke up.
That was one of the most random dreams I've had since ages. I don't even get why it was Nick Jonas I was dancing with. Oh well, I should be grateful it wasn't Kevin Jonas.
With the beginning of the new month, comes the end of an old crush. And by old, I mean a crush that lasted approximately two years. If there was a title for world's most chickenest/lamest girl - that would be me. Seriously. I counted the number of words that I actually said to him in those two years and the grand total comes to ....... eleven. But hey, whatever. It's about time I moved on anyways. I'll find something else to occupy my mind for now - anything that'll take my mind off those jeans...
Jane: "My dearest sister, now be serious. I want
to talk very seriously. Let me know everything that I am to know, without delay.
Will you tell me how long you have loved him?"
Lizzie: "It has been coming on so gradually, that
i hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first
seeing the way his trousers clung to those most English
parts."
-Tian's got a gun.. RUUUN away.
I was on the top floor of a massive business apartment building,
applying for a job. At first, I didn't get the job but eventually the manager
assigned me to being a bodyguard. SO I stood outside the boss's office for what
seemed like forever, watching all his maids and butlers run around cleaning and
doing butlerish things.
When my shift was over, I walked down all the flights of stairs and into
the foyer. I was nearly outside when suddenly, I heard a gunshot. There was a
strange guy standing outside the building and he was firing at the man I was
supposed to protect. I quickly ran to the gunman and grabbed his weapon. And
this is the strange part:
I started running back inside the building and suddenly all these people
came from nowhere and started chasing me :O I kept running until I got to a
large hall. The people kept coming and some were even close enough that they
JUMPED ON TOP OF ME. It was crazy. & since it was a dream, I wasn't smart
enough to use the gun that I was holding. LOL
There once was a rock. On this rock, there lived many little specks. One of the specks was pink and this speck was named Cynthia. She was special because she was the princess of the specks.
One day, Cynthia was sitting there being.. specky when all of a sudden she rose into the air and up into the clouds. There was nothing she could do and so she continued to float upwards until she got to the clouds. There, she met two horse (or snake?) ladies who were diving between the clouds. They told Cynthia a prophecy and then sent her back home.
However, Cynthia didn't arrive home. Instead, she landed in a jungle area and transformed into a person (not a speck). Cynthia set off into the jungle until she got to a building inhabited by lots of kids/teenagers. She stayed there for a while and got bored so she started exploring again. She investigated all the different corridors until she ended up at a random room. And inside this room she saw HIM. He stared at her and she stared back until...Cynthia woke up from her extremely weird dream :(
Yours sincerely, Princess Specks (Cynthia)
P.S. No kidding, this was my actual dream.
P.P.S. Stop giving me that she's-so-weird-look. I don't control my dreams, okay??
Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about BBF and start talking about real life. BTW, I'm setting a time limit of 15 minutes for me to blog coz I realise that sometimes I get carried away and blog for too long.
Ready..
Set..
GO!
I went shopping at Livo yesterday and saw Ms. P (PE teacher) buying easter eggs. I was RIGHT NEXT TO HER when I realised. It scared the bejeebas outta me. So then I quickly walked into the stationary aisle LOL There's just something weird about seeing a teacher at the shops.. I also saw Belinda there and the twins. It's like everyone from CVH goes to Livo on the weekend. Apparently Snez was at TimeZone (I wonder what she was doing there :))
I also went swimming yesterday coz my sister has lessons. I wonder when I started to hate going to the swimming pool. I took swimming lessons for 9 years and quit when everyone in my class became younger than me. It just felt weird yesterday, I don't know why.
Actually.. it didn't help that my parents were wearing embarassing, colourful swimming costumes -.-
I'm still waiting for my real birth parents to show up.
Last night, while listening to my iPod in the dark, the "cellogic" song came up and I just started laughing like a crazy person. So then I turned it off and tried to go to sleep but the cellogic song was stuck in my head :(
A few nights ago, I dreamt that Nancy was dating Miley Cyrus's ex. They were both in a big bitch fight HAHAHA. Last night's dream was even weirder. I was probably thinking of the brochure task that Mr. D gave us so in my dream, I dreamt that we had to catch a red trout and analyse it. The fish kept slipping out of Jessica's hands though :L (butter fingers).
15 minutes is up already! Did I really take that long? Jeez...
Today I had one of those moments, when something embarassing happens and you just wanna smack yourself on the forehead and go, "why did I just do that?". But I'm not gonna tell youse what happened in case you start laughing at me.
So how was your day peoples?
LOL at those people that did cross country :P My class did gym. Well not really, since all we really did was play with the skipping rope. Double dutch anyone?
At recess (or was it lunch?) someone ate a fruit -which I don't know the name of- and the juice squirted into stephanie's eyeball. When I was small, the exact same thing happened when I was eating a mandarin and it squirted into Nancy's eye. Good days, I tell you. Good days.
Last night, I watched like, 10 seconds of ghost whisperer and got so freaked. I kept changing to "Getaway" because I couldnt' stand the whole creepy ghost girl thing. Usually, I can watch the whole thing but for some reason, it was scarier than usual..
I'm gonna watch BBF later. I think I'll cry :'( For some reason I didnt' cry when that girl in One Litre of Tears died, but I cry in BBF. LOL
I had ANOTHER strange dream. It wasn't as strange as an octopus eating booonie but still weird.
I seem to be having a lot of dreams about train stations :L Maybe it means I'm going to take a long journey in life. Or maybe I've just watched too much Slumdog Millionaire :) Feel free to interpret my dream again. LOLTian, Nancy and I were at a train station. It wasn't a normal train station
though because there were two platforms on either side of one train track.
Anyways, we were playing a game where you have to run from one platform to
the other by going through the train as it stops. Well Tian was too slow and me
and nancy ended up running through the train when it stopped.
UNFORTUNATELY the train didn't stop long enough and before we got to the other end, the doors
closed and we were stuck in it.
So, I asked nancy for her phone so we could ring Tian and meet up with her
somewhere but nooooo, somebody forgot their phone (or maybe they didnt' have
enough credit). We ended up staying on the train for a very long time and when
we finally reached our destination, we were at the mountains. Like WTF.
When we got there, it turned out that place was like a camp kinda thing.
Sorta like the biggest loser -just not with the "generously proportioned"
people-. We were forced by the people to PICK UP RUBBISH and when we
finished that, we got to go back on the train.
Eventually, we finished and were allowed to go home. When we arrived at the
original train station we had to walk all the way back home. Turns out that
while we were gone, only a few minutes had passed.
ZOMG I finished PE assignment
-does victory dance around the room-
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