Damn you bloody t-formula question. You made me waste like a bloody 15 minutes on you, and you weren't even supposed to be a hard question. I betcha I copied the question wrong. Yeh, that's probably it. Cause I swear to Buddha my working out was all right. AAARGH.

I don't know how to study for maths. I remember my formulas and I think I know how to do most questions. But if they chuck a really effed up question at me tomorrow, how do I prepare for it? Do I have to go through all the exercises again and pick out the hard questions or something and then do these repetitively? Or should I redo all the past test papers, as well as Ms D's extra revision sheets and read a maths textbook (just in case) for good measure?

I have a problem. I can't write anymore :( I used to be so good at poems and creative writing and all that stuff but recently, it seems like my mind has a giant yellow roadblock shoved in front of it everytime I try to put pen to paper. I blame history extension. And all those year 12 essays. They've made me so .... what's the word? Meticulous? Yeh, meticulous, when it comes to writing anything. I feel like I have to make sure every sentence sounds complete and right and that all my paragraphs somehow link together and make sense. I can spend HOURS trying to think up the perfect intro and then I end up regretting wasting all my time doing that.

It used to be so easy. Back when I didn't care if everything sounded perfect and exact, I could just write my essays and get them over and done with. And it's not like they turned out crappy or anything. Actually, they probably turned out better since I could write exactly what I wanted to say and it would just flow. But now, every single thing I try to write has to get processed at least fifty times in my brain before I can get it out. WHAT IS THIS? IT'S LIKE BLOODY MIND CONSTIPATION OR SOMETHING. Is this what happens as you get older? Your mind just decides to censor everything you write until your imagination is reduced to the size of my sister's brain? (lol just kidding). The only exception is blogging though. I never had to worry about sentence structure or articulation when I blog. It's so liberating.

Anyways, nothing much has happened in the world of Cynthia recently. My cousin got into North Sydney Girls. Hooray. Good for her. Yippee. Now her dad has more reason to look down on me, lol. I don't really like their family though. They're rich and snobbish and they think I'm stupid. I kind of wish she hadn't gotten in. Does that make me a bad person? It probably does. Ah well, all the more reason to succeed? :p *fist pumps air weakly*

IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: For those who are interested, we need to organise a Harry Potter midnight screening trip ASAP. Tickets are probably gonna sell out soon and if we don't hurry, we're not gonna be able to go :( And we must go because it is the last Harry Potter.

Back in Year 6, just when I was leaving primary school, I got my yearly report (if you could even call it that) from my teacher. And down the bottom of the page where the comment usually is, she wrote, "Good luck in high school Cynthia! You're going to do great things. I already know what you're going to become in the future."

Only recently did I remember this. And I can't help but think, WHY DIDN'T I ASK HER WHAT SHE THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BECOME?! Because that would make my life so much easier. What does she mean by "I already know what you're going to become in the future?" A doctor? A rubbish truck driver? A millionaire? It's probably about time that I start thinking about what I want to do in the future but I honestly have no idea.

I know what I DON'T want to do. I don't want to be a doctor, and I don't want to be a lawyer.

My life plan (which I remember mentioning in this blog a few months ago) was to:

• Win the lottery


• Travel all over the world


• Go to London and maybe NORWAY so I can see Alexander Rybak


• Find a British guy with an English accent


• And leech off my friends when I get back to Australia because by then, I would be poorer than the Cabramatta hobo.

Obviously, that's not a very realistic plan and I am going to need a back-up plan.

I think I want to do journalism. But I'm not sure. You know how sometimes ideas just flit through your brain and you think, hey that's not too bad. Well yeh, that was one of them. I also wouldn't mind being a librarian LOL. That wouldn't be too bad - I just probably wouldn't earn a lot of money. Which means I have to leech off Nancy and Tian again. Oh well, they won't mind :)

You know what I don't get? Teaching. I have full respect for teachers, without them, we wouldn't learn anything, obviously. But for me, and this is just my really unecessary opinion, teaching seems like a very strange job. You go to school for like 12 years. You work your ass off, studying for the future. And then ....you go back to school and pass on your knowledge to other people. Like what is the actual point? It's like a cycle which can't be broken. Why do we learn? We learn so we can apply our knowledge to jobs in the future or at least to get into a uni which would then lead to a job in the future. What is the point of learning, if you're just gonna recycle that knowledge.

This is just my opinion though. For those who actually do love teaching and do it because they love working with kids or something, then I understand why they do it. But the thought of learning just so you can re-teach it to someone else seems very strange. It's like acquiring knowledge but not actually applying it to anything. For example in science you might learn about, I dunno, chemical equations and whatnot. But then if you become a teacher, you don't actually use your knowledge of chemical equations to create life-saving drugs or anything. You just.... pass it on and maybe hope that someone else makes the life-saving drugs.

...my school would look like this,

or maybe this,

I am sure that most of you, who go to my school, are familiar with that thing they call "studywiz". For those who don't know - studywiz is basically like a school communication system that allows you to send your assignments and work to your teacher and vice versa. Well today I found out more about this horrifying invention. It's not just a work-sending thing - it's much more than that. OHOHO, much, much more. *insert ominous thunderclap*

You all know that teachers can tell who opens their mail/assignments right? See I thought that was creepy already - being able to keep track of who opens what. Well today, I found out exactly how it works. Basically, there's this button teachers can click next to the assignments/work they've posted. They click on it and this whole page comes up with a list of the people who've clicked on it AND HOW LONG THEY SPENT VIEWING THE PAGE. Seriously! It's like a table with:

• Student's name


• How many times they've viewed it


• How long they spent viewing it

IS THAT CREEPY OR IS THAT CREEPY? Apparently most students only view stuff for like, 20 seconds or less. But some people (like me) end up with "1 hour and 20 minutes" next to their name LOL. And it's not cause I'm some retard who like to look at teacher's messages all day long - it's because I've left my computer screen on that particular page for that particular amount of time.

So what I'm trying to say is, DON'T EVER LEAVE YOUR SCREEN ON A STUDYWIZ PAGE FOR TOO LONG. Cause the teachers will know, oh they will know alright. And they will think to themselves "Geez, this student must be REALLY eager to do some work - they've spent 3 hours staring at this page!" BEWARE EVERYBODY. I'm just trying to spare you this horrifying fate.

It makes me wonder though. If they can see how long you've spent looking at a page, then they probably know a whole bunch of other stuff too. Like how long it takes you to write an email to them, or what you send to other people. Actually the last one is pretty likely, seeing as they already monitor emails and stuff. Yeeesh, that is so creepy.

On a crazy scale of 1 to 10, my mum would score 889068698685 points. Do you know what she said to me today?

Except it was more pissed-off looking.

I HAD A LOT OF THINGS TO SAY but I seem to have forgotten all of it. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Oh well, I guess I'll just start off by talking about my long weekend.

Saturday

I woke up at bloody 6am on Saturday to go to bloody Sydney University for the history workshop day thing. I met up with everyone at Canley station and then took the train to Redfern. It was so cold. Snez said I looked like a druggie on the side of the street with my hair whipping all around my face. Huh, haven't heard that one before. Anyways, we walked to the university and I went to a total of 4 lectures - 3 of which I fell asleep in. The one which I didn't zone out of was spent looking at all the graffiti on the lecture tables. I thought that once you got to uni, people stopped writing and drawing all over the tables. Apparently not. In fact, they're graffiti was of a "higher-class" quality, there were rhymes, epic drawings and even chinese writing, LOL.

I'm just gonna dot point the 4 lectures I went to:

• HSC Core exam - aka World War I. Evaluation: Looked at doodlings on table and watched the rich kids from the more prestigious schools type notes on their iPads. Guy who was lecturing was apparently some senior, senior HSC marker who's had 20 years experience of something like that. Whatever. Just cause you know how to mark the test doesn't mean I'll know how to do it.


• Elizabeth. Evaluation: I had to go to this one by myself cause I'm the only person studying her for the project-that-shall-not-be-named. I was so proud of myself when I found the lecture room LOL. I walked in, sat down, payed attention for 10 minutes and then gave up. All I heard was "....revisionist perspective.....Elton....feminist Bassnett.....traditionalist......Cate Blanchett". This was when I decided that I totally should've brought my sister's iPod touch to play Sushi-go-round.


• Russia and the Bolshevik Revolution. Evaluation: Most boring one of the four. Mr G was sitting behind me so even if I had brought the iPod, I wouldn't have been able to play with it. Although to be fair, he was probably falling asleep himself. Imagine Mr Banner talking. Now times it by a trillion. That's how tedious the lecture was.


• History Extension Question 2. Evaluation: Started off boring but then got interesting when the lecturer started showing us clips from the Matrix. How did it relate? No idea. I ended up half listening and half dreaming of Subway cookies. Yum.

HSC trials are coming up in August. I feel a bit unprepared and I've only got two subjects to prepare for. The year 12s have like, 6 subjects or something - I don't know how they cope.

Sunday

Worked on the project-that-shall-not-be-named. I think I've made good progress. HOORAY :D. Then I had to go tutoring. Which reminds me btw, my parents don't want to pay for the 4u maths classes so err, that kinda leaves me with a dilemna. What happens if I beg them to pay but then later on, decide to drop it? That would be such a waste of money.

Monday

I pokemon'd the whole day. Haha no kidding. I woke up, played pokemon, ate breakfast, played pokemon, did maths homework, ate lunch, folded clothes, played pokemon, ate dinner and then played pokemon.

I think if I didn't do something totally geeky/fun I would have spontaneously combusted from all the stress. Come on, it is the long weekend after all. And pokemon makes everything alright :) `Gotta catch 'em all! Pokemon! Yeh XD

And now its Tuesday. School was boring as usual. Except, during History Extension, when the year 12s wanted to look at the violin. They played with a bit and then asked me to play something. HA, I warned them. Told them they really DID NOT want to hear me play and that they would regret asking me. They still wanted to hear so I ended up blasting their ear drums and making noises that were equivalent to nails scratching down a black board.

Whatever - I did warn them.

I have just recently discovered the joys of the instagram rebuttal. If you have tumblr, you would know what an instagram is. It's basically some kind of emo/melodramatic quote set against a pretty picture - very popular among people our age. An instagram rebuttal makes fun of instagrams by putting a buzzkilling remark after the quote. And for a cynical person like me, this concept tickles me to no end.

Find out more here:

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/instagram-quote-rebuttals-hipster-edits