THAT'S RIGHT BOARD OF STUDIES. BRING IT OOOOONNNN!!

Just a gif to support my previous post:

And also because my way of de-stressing is to post Doctor Who gifs. (Seriously, there's something so therapeautic in sharing images of Matt Smith/Karen Gillan/Arthur Darvill acting all awesome and lovable. You guys should try it too.)

And we totally need more Tardis and Doctor love. Stuff youuuu River Song and Rose. The Doctor's one and only ~true love~ will forever be the TARDIS.

So... back to studying I guess :(

Two more days. I feel very very scared now. PLEASE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME OH-MIGHTY-EXAM-GODS, PLEASE MAKE THE ESSAY QUESTIONS RELEVANT TO WHAT I HAVE STUDIED. I BEG OF YOUUUUUUUUUUU. MY LIFE/UPCOMING YEAR DEPENDS ON THIS.

Yes I know I'm blogging quite a lot today. But guys this is important.

HUNGER GAMES POSTERS ARE OUT ADNA;DKJ;AIOENVALSDKVNA;SE

I haven't posted them all - the ones for Cinna, Cato, Gale and some others are also out. *squeal* I LOVE THEM ALL THOUGH. Yes, even Haymitch's.... interesting hair. And OMG EFFIE LOOKS AMAZING - ahtough her hair looks more white than pink. Rue looks really vulnerable. I love it. I LOVE IT ALL GUYS.

P.S. Psssst Katniss, you're facing the wrong way!

So like my mum just rang Jimmy to tell him I can't make it to 4u tomorrow. S'all good right?

No.

CAUSE NOW HE FUCKING WANTS ME TO COME ON FRIDAY NIGHT AFTER MY SISTER'S LESSON TO GET ONE-ON-ONE TUTORING ON THE STUFF I MISSED AND THEN HE'LL DRIVE ME HOME AFTERWARDS.

Guys... my sadnesses. I'm drowning in them. Oh and jsyk, that gif above is probably gonna be my most overused gif ever.

(Context: Vietnam is being threatened by an invasion from both the French and the Chinese and Ho Chi Minh says he would prefer being invaded by the French.)

Ho Chi Minh: "You fools! Don't you realize what it means if the Chinese remain? Don't you remember your history? The last time the Chinese came, they stayed a thousand years. The French are foreigners. They are weak. Colonialism is dying. The white man is finished in Asia. But if the Chinese stay now, they will never go. As for me, I prefer to sniff French shit for five years than eat Chinese shit for the rest of my life."

Source: "Vietnam a History" - Stanley Karnow, 1983, Penguin Books, etc. etc.

Haha I just found that extremely funny. I don't know. I suppose anything and everything becomes funny once you've been staring at history books for 6 hours.

Forgot to mention this but in the last episode of Doctor Who that I watched, there was a preview. And after watching it I was like,

Cause seriously,

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS



WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS



WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS



DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW?? Garrrh, more scary episodes.

I feel so guilty staying home to study even though the school has technically authorised it. And when I start thinking about the amount of work I will miss, it makes my head hurt. Actually no. I should rephrase. I'm not worried about ALL the subjects/work I will miss. I'm only worried about maths. CAUSE WE FREAKIN' GET MATHS HOMEWORK EVERY DAY GUISE. Damn you, my hated maths-teacher-who-shall-not-be-named-nor-seen-nor-smelt-of-nor-spoken-about. Hmmph.

But anyways... there was something I really wanted to say. Um and now I've forgotten what it was. Sigh. It probably wasn't that important anyway.

Oh right, this isn't what I wanted to say but, by staying home the whole day I didn't actually manage to learn/study a lot. Thinking about it now, the only new thing I learnt today was: "Hey, hey, LBJ. How many kids have you killed today?"

LOL. Hopefully I might be able to use that in the Vietnam essay.... if they ask a question about the Home Front. I could even use this one, "One, two, three, four.... we don't want your f*cking war!!!". Or this: "LBJ - pull out like your old man should have!"

....ooooh, BUUUUUUUURNED..... On second thoughts, maybe I shouldn't use that last one.

AHAHAHA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT EPIC GIF ANNIE. His legs are so... hypnotizing. LOL.

Yeah I just wanted to say that. Since I can't comment on people's posts (blogger hates me - it just won't let me do it!), I have to comment through my own blog. sigh. There have been so many times where I've wanted to comment on what people have written but I couldn't. Do me a favour guys and get a chatbox please?

Y U NO LYK ME BLOGGER????

I don't know but... maybe if you stopped drawing stupid graphs on the board about how much work we should be doing, and instead started teaching faster, we might actually learn more? lols. Just my 2 cents.

Eww tomorrow is Tuesday. Which means FIVE TIMES THE METWALLY. YUCKYUCKYUCKYUCKYUCK. But its ok. I'll just sit in class and half listen to unrelevant 4u stuff and half listen to Juliana's tummy grumble.

I am going to track down neferis tomorrow and give her my essays lol. I don't care if it's a bit late. She has to read them.

It is quite late. I always tell myself to sleep early but I never do. I slept late last night and ended up falling asleep on my bed while studying the Russian Revolution. And then I felt really really guilty afterwards and wanted to knock my head against the wall.

The mirror in my room fell down. It didn't break. But I had a mild panic attack thinking it was a sign about the upcoming HSC exam.

I will really want frozen coke. I maybe frozen Lemon Lime and Bitters. I've never tried that.

I hate Tuesdays.

I have to remember to ask Georgiou for my trial papers.... if he has them. Knowing me, I probably will forget. Somebody remind me please.

I miss books.

I miss music. I want to do a cover. Perhaps something by Florence and the Machine. Does anyone want to learn the guitar part lol. I'll play the drums.

I miss having a life.

I MISS DOCTOR WHO AND MARATHONING 5 EPISODES BACK TO BACK.

I also quite miss David Tenant and Billie Piper.

I feel very discouraged right now. I just spent 45 minutes doing a section from the Modern History exam. I didn't even get to finish it and time was up. And get this. I managed to write even less than what I wrote during the half yearly exam. At least 300 words less or something.

I'm kind of freaking out internally right now. Okay, that was an understatement. I AM SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT SO MUCH. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE EASIER FUCKING SECTIONS OF THE WHOLE TEST.

I feel like crying. But that's not going to help much. Plus I already had a mental breakdown on Thursday which my mum witnessed. I felt slightly better afterwards but that only lasted for a while. And then I went back to stressing.

I feel really sad guys. I don't think I can handle school tomorrow.

So like, Jessica, I really want to blog about DW. But I can't :( Cause I'm s'pose to be studying (I've only watched one ep during this week). And I have stupid JimJim later. Instead I will do a quick gif spam. Oh and btw, Rory seems to have gotten significantly foxier in Season 6. That's all.

Haha. That last one. You might not be able to see it immediately.

I have always wanted to permanently migrate to the UK. Duh. Most obvious statement in the history of obvious statements.

First it was because of Harry Potter.

Why do the British get all the awesome stuff? :(

Lyanna, I believe this is the gif you are looking for.

Yeah, as Lyanna said, ENGLISH EXTENSION 2 - COME AT ME BRO.

Okay that was just a misleading statement of confidence. Honestly I am not confident at all. Especially after looking over some of the previous work that people have submitted. My confidence depreciated exponentially :(

1. I really don't want to write about anything ~deep and meaningful~ cause that's just who I am. I am a very shallow human being who doesn't give a pig's fart about liberation/equality/world peace. Hey, at least I admitted it.

2. I am fortunate enough not to have been struck with personal tragedy in my life of 17 years so writing about grief is kind of out of the question.

3. I simultaneously want to do something original yet I don't have sufficient motivation to attempt something outlandishly absurd.

4. It seems like anything that I want to do has been done or attempted before. Boo.

5. I have run out of reasons. Goodbye.

P.S. I nearly forgot to mention. I love English Extension 1. We spent two periods looking at photos and saying how they made us feel. It was very fun and productive.

First off: Cecilia, I am very proud of you :D IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU READ THEM BOOKS.

Secondly: I came home really depressed about 4u maths. My mum took one look at me and was like, "What's wrong with you?" And then I was like, "I don't like maths." So then she said, "Drop it. Don't do extension 2." And right after she said that, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

If that is not an indication of what I should do, I don't know what is.

I think I already knew when Jimmy said "Oh, and you'll have extra classes if you do Extension 2."

And also when Metwally came into my year 11 maths class and said, "You'll have no life. You'll have no friends. You'll just be doing maths every day. It will never end." I'm pretty sure that was a major indication.

And when I look around my maths class and see everybody's willingness to learn, despite having such a craptastic teacher - I kind of feel like I'm the odd one out because I don't have same determination/focus as everyone else.

I think it's pretty clear what I should do.

There is only one image in the whole of the internet that suffices in communicating my frustration every time I have Metwally for maths.

I have to be very honest here. I become exceptionally wary everytime someone asks me for advice on History Extension and whether it is a subject worth picking up. It's been happening quite frequently recently (mostly because Year 12 is just around the corner) and well, to a lot of people I don't really know what to say.

As you all know I am extremely biased against History Extension. If you haven't picked up on that by now you must be as dense as one of Hagrid's rock cakes. So giving advice to people is really really hard - especially when I already have my own built-in bias towards a subject. To be fair though, it's not that the subject is bad or that the teacher isn't great. It's because it's just such a mentally taxing subject that requires so many hours and hours of input and consolidation.

For example, we get booklets handed out in class which we are supposed to take home and do some "extra reading" on. This is just an excerpt of something we got at the beginning of the year:

"The past, appropriated by historians, is never the past itself, but a past evidenced by its remaining and accessible traces and transformed into historiography through a series of theoretically and methodologically disparate procedures (ideological positionings, tropes, emploments, argumentative modes), such historiography - as articulated in both upper and lower cases - then being subject to a series of uses which are logically infinite but which, in practice, correspond to the range of power bases that exist at any given juncture and spectrum. Understood in this way, as a rhetorical, metaphorical, textual practice governed by distinctive but never homogeneous procedures through which the maintenance/transformation....... etc, etc."

(Source: Rethinking History - Keith Jenkins)

If you understood all that on the first reading then CONGRATULATIONS. YOU MUST BE SOME SORT OF GENIUS OR SOMETHING. It took me at least 4 readings just to understand that paragraph - and then I had to go grab a dictionary and look up every second word to gain a deeper understanding. And you know what was worse? I seemed to have been dumped into a class full of people who had way better literacy skills than me and actually seemed to UNDERSTAND what they were reading. Don't try to prove me wrong. I am entirely justified in having yucky feelings towards said subject.

I am probably not the best person to come to for advice on subject choices anyway. Which reminds me. I was feeling mightily depressed after school today because of maths and the realization that I would have TWELVE periods per week on that subject alone. And then I had a "hallelujah" moment at tutoring where I realised that I could just drop 4 u maths and even do 9 units this year if I wanted to. Cause get this, 9 + 3 = 12!!! So technically, my 9 units next year, plus my 3 units this year would still leave me with 2 extra units.

But then I realised that that logic was based on the assumption that I would do well in this year's HSC exams. So I sunk into spiral-of-despair-v2.

Not that I'm dropping 4u maths. It's just nice knowing that there's a "trampoline" to catch me if I decided that I didn't like what I was doing now.

Okay enough about maths and history and school and all that yucky stuff. Let's have a DW gif spam!!!! YAY!! (haven't done them in a while!)

And I have finished Series 5 :) I watched the last episode yesterday (even though I promised myself I wouldn't watch any until the exams were over) but come on, it was only one episode.

And more sexy Matt Smith dance moves.... because one can never have enough sexy Matt Smith dance moves.

P.S. My mum, who works at a high school as an interpreter, just came into the room and asked me what an "import" was cause she had to translate for some parents tomorrow. Apparently their kid got sent to the principal for calling some guy an "import" and "fob". LOLZ FOREVER. Now my mum can't stop laughing at the definition.

Guys, I have just unintentionally spoiler'd myself as to who River Song is and her relationship to Amy.

My sadness at this is indescribable. I hate spoilers with a burning passion. Hell, I don't even watch those short previews at the end of every episode in fear of spoiling myself. Now that just takes the fun out of watching Series 6 when I do get up to it.

Damn you Youtube and your spoilery comments.

I love Youtube. I really do. It is probably the most amazing creation there is out - apart from the internet itself. I can spend hours and hours in front of it, searching up the most random things; from kittens to creepy chinese women dancing on X Factor UK (yes, you know the one I'm talking about).

I also really love George Sampson. I can't believe I've never seen this before. For some reason, watching this video nearly made me cry.... maybe I'm just hormonal LOL cause I rarely cry at stuff like this. Okay, I should shut up now.

Now imagine if someone came and STOMPED ON ALL THOSE WONDERFUL THINGS AND THEN THREW UP ON THEM FOR GOOD MEASURE, WHILST YOU HUDDLED IN A CORNER AND PLEADED FOR THEM TO STOP.

This is what "Tender Morsels" is like.

Loosely based on the Brothers Grimm fairytale, "Snow White and Rose Red" (which should not be confused with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves), "Tender Morsels" is rather dark and disturbing rendition of the classic tale. All the essential components are there; magic, bears, two very different girls and a cranky dwarf but DO NOT BE FOOLED GUYS. This is like grabbing a copy of "The Hunger Games", taking a permanent marker, crossing out the title, writing the word "Twilight" above the original title and then giving it to your friend saying, "Here, it's essentially the same thing. Both books have a female protagonist(!!)"

I don't really want to talk about the plot cause really, what is a plot anyway? I mean, it's not going to give you an idea of the quality of the book. But I suppose I have to, just to give you idea.

(This is copied word by word from the blurb)

"Liga's life is filled with dark hearts and terrible deeds, until natural magic creates sanctuary for her and her daughters. But they can't escape the real world forever, and other forces are at work: magicked bears and greedy mischief-man break in and distrub their peace. And what happens when a girl decides she doesn't want to be protected?"

There. That doesn't tell you much does it? But trust me when I say that it was one of the most well-written books I have ever read. Margo Lanagan is such a supremely talented writer. It really was heartbreaking/funny/tragic/beautiful despite the horror and revulsion of the first 50 pages or so. Yes I know I am being ambiguous by not addressing the issues outright but I can't help it. I don't want to turn you off the book by saying what happens. It ruins the fun!

Anyways if you get the chance, read it. It really is a beautiful story but it's definitely not for the faint of heart. Don't be fooled by the seemingly-innocent cover guys. IT IS REALLY DECEIVING.

Okay this was probably the crappiest reivew of a book ever. To end off, I'll just word-vomit a whole bunch of words associated with the story, in the hope that they will somehow clear things up. (Don't read if you don't want spoilers)

BEARS GIRLS MAGIC INCEST REALITY WITCH DAUGHTERS GREED FAMILY FORESTS SEWING HOUSE TOWN DAD TERRIBLE HORROR HEAVEN MOON-BABY WOLF CLIFF LAND SEX CREEPY BOYS-DISGUISED-AS-BEARS KISSING GEM FLOWERS MOM DEATH LIFE ESCAPE SORCEROR NO-EMOTION WHITE RED PARADISE TREES LAKE WINDOW MUDDY-ANNIE LIGA HOPE TRANSFORMATION GOLD RUBIES

.... and yeah, I can't really think of any more.

Inspired by Annie's "Keep Calm and Grow a Moustache" pencilcase to search this up:



....I wish. So stressed right now. I wish a Tardis would land on my front door, but alas, this is the ~real world~.

It has been approximately 5 days, 1 hour and 21 minutes since I last watched an episode of Doctor Who. AND I AM SUFFERING GODDAMMIT.

Maybe I'll do a gif-spam tomorrow. If I'm bovvered. Just to release some of this pent up frustration.

P.S. Othilia, I will miss laughing at your inadequacies and failings as a human being in Maths class (and I'm sure Annie feels the same). Fare thee well.

I feel mildly depressed right now. Apparently the exams are in Week 4. I misjudged the dates :(

So now I have to sit here and rot for FOUR MORE FUCKING WEEKS before I can run outside and do a hallelujah dance.

Oh god does this mean I have to do the english extension essay now? :(

I AM SO SAD GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

.....is what I keep hearing from all the teachers who have marked my modern history essays/trial papers. AND I AM SO SICK OF HEARING IT. ITS HAAAAARD OKAY?!?!? I hate it when you think you've done enough and then afterwards you find out that enough was definitely nowhere near enough.

I want to do the exams now. I want to have them over and done with. I want to be able to forget about stupid russia and stupid indochina and stupid ho chi minh and stupid appeasement and stupid WWI and stupid herodotus and stupid post-modernism and just focus on my normal Year 11.5 work. I want to watch Doctor Who and not have to wait 4 weeks until after the tests :(

I also don't want to do the exams now. Because a) I am not prepared and b) I am nowhere near prepared.

So there you go. That's my current frame of mind. I simultaneously want to do the tests and not do them.

I should study.

I have a lot of hate and anger right now. So I'm just warning you guys - this isn't gonna be a post full of marshmallows and rainbows and happiness (not that I ever blog about marshmallows and rainbows and happiness).

A lot of my pissed-off-of-ness came from maths tutor. I hate it. I hate it with a burning passion - like I've never hated anything as much before in my life. I don't know what it is exactly but a part of it comes from being cooped up 3-4 hours in a tiny white room while learning about something that frankly, doesn't interest me at all. Okay to be honest, I don't always hate it. But the feeling is common enough that I know it can't be anything else.

I have tried to like it. Don't sit there and judge me and think that I've never tried. I have. But I still don't like it.

I also am quite sick of myself. While I sit there and rot in that little white room a voice in my head just keeps asking, "Why do you bother with 4u then?". And I hate that I can't answer that. It's definitely not because I like it. The whole row at the back of the classroom seems to ADORE it and for some reason, that just adds to my annoyance. Yes I am aware that I am being a petty, spoilt brat. And I hate that that's how I feel. Actually now that I think about, it seems like the more significant reason that I hate maths tutor is because of myself and the attitude I have towards it. I can't understand myself and that annoys me. Maybe it's because I'm scared of dropping it. I'm scared of dropping it and then regretting it. Oh and also the "telling people that I'm dropping it" part too. Especially my maths tutor. Oooh that'll be nasty.

Can I just say that I am really tempted to ring Othilia just so I could vent to someone? But I won't do that because 1) it's 10 at night and 2) we have school tomorrow. I am a very strange person. I love being alone and doing stuff by myself (e.g. reading books, watching TV shows on my laptop) but when I start feeling frustrated or angry I just have to vent to someone. (Haha, speaking of which, I don't know how Elyn does it. How is it possible that she hasn't spontaneously combusted from all the random shit I tell her in maths class? I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm just overloading her with all my worries and she just takes it in. LOL. Elyn I don't think you read this but can I just say that you are awesome.) Sorry guys, I know it's not fair - it's almost like I'm saying that I only need you when I'm upset. BUT I'M NOT SAYING THAT OKAY? I LOVE YOU GUYS. DON'T THINK THAT I DON'T.

Sigh. I was going to rant more but I can't be bothered. I want to read and lose myself in a story. I don't want to think about school tomorrow and upcoming HSC exams. That will only make me more stressed and angry. Goodnight people.

P.S. I, like Tian, have only recently realised that there is a "stat" button up there on my blogger dashboard. How did I not notice it before? Anyway, just wanted to say Hi to anyone from Ukraine that's reading this LOL. Apparently you make up quite a big percentage of my blog traffic :L

I went to a French restaurant yesterday. And now I can't be bothered blogging anymore. Just look at the pictures.