Studying for modern is like trying to dig a tunnel to China with nothing more than a spoon. You can spend hours and hours scraping away at the dirt but after a week, all you have left is a small crater in your front yard and a really dirty spoon which you will never use to eat with again. This is exactly my situation. I have sat here from 7pm to 11pm this Monday, trying to study as much as possible and I've barely scraped the surface of the freakin' topic. I was aiming to battle "Conflict in Indochina" as well as "Russia and the Soviet Union" today but alas, all I've been able to do is dot point the main events of Indochina and give myself a ginormous headache. I thought I was doing okay. Until I read the exemplary responses of past papers. You'd think I would've learnt not to do that from last time. But anyway, I realised that I only know the surface of things. I know the basic basic facts but I've got no quotes, no statistics and no actual references to back up what I'm saying.

For example, I say

"The Tet Offensive was a tactical failure for the Viet Cong but was successful in the fact that it caused American attitudes to change back home."

But then to get a band 6, I am supposed to say,

"The Tet Offensive of January - February 1968, which involved a combined forced of 70 000 to 80 000 Viet Cong soldiers invading 9 cities and 30 provincial capitals, was a tactical failure for the Viet Cong but was successful in the fact that it caused American attitudes to change back home."

Do you understand my dilemma right now? And it's not like I can suddenly remember a billion statistics and quotes before the trial next Monday. Plus, knowing my luck, even if I try to remember some stuff, mostly likely it will not end up in the test.

PLUS, the section doesn't involve any multiple choice or short answer questions. It's just two extended response, 25 mark questions. (You get to pick which one you want to do though). And if by chance, neither of those two options appeal to you, then well, YOU ARE SO SCREWED.

I don't know how to study for maths. I remember my formulas and I think I know how to do most questions. But if they chuck a really effed up question at me tomorrow, how do I prepare for it? Do I have to go through all the exercises again and pick out the hard questions or something and then do these repetitively? Or should I redo all the past test papers, as well as Ms D's extra revision sheets and read a maths textbook (just in case) for good measure?

I have a problem. I can't write anymore :( I used to be so good at poems and creative writing and all that stuff but recently, it seems like my mind has a giant yellow roadblock shoved in front of it everytime I try to put pen to paper. I blame history extension. And all those year 12 essays. They've made me so .... what's the word? Meticulous? Yeh, meticulous, when it comes to writing anything. I feel like I have to make sure every sentence sounds complete and right and that all my paragraphs somehow link together and make sense. I can spend HOURS trying to think up the perfect intro and then I end up regretting wasting all my time doing that.

It used to be so easy. Back when I didn't care if everything sounded perfect and exact, I could just write my essays and get them over and done with. And it's not like they turned out crappy or anything. Actually, they probably turned out better since I could write exactly what I wanted to say and it would just flow. But now, every single thing I try to write has to get processed at least fifty times in my brain before I can get it out. WHAT IS THIS? IT'S LIKE BLOODY MIND CONSTIPATION OR SOMETHING. Is this what happens as you get older? Your mind just decides to censor everything you write until your imagination is reduced to the size of my sister's brain? (lol just kidding). The only exception is blogging though. I never had to worry about sentence structure or articulation when I blog. It's so liberating.

Anyways, nothing much has happened in the world of Cynthia recently. My cousin got into North Sydney Girls. Hooray. Good for her. Yippee. Now her dad has more reason to look down on me, lol. I don't really like their family though. They're rich and snobbish and they think I'm stupid. I kind of wish she hadn't gotten in. Does that make me a bad person? It probably does. Ah well, all the more reason to succeed? :p *fist pumps air weakly*