After much deliberation, I have decided that I would rather take a nice long bath in a vat of toxic waste rather than drive again.

And here are some other things I would rather do than drive:

• Spend the rest of my life on a diet of bananas and become mosquito bait.
• Give up Chuck
• Give up my eyesight
• Burn my Hunger Games collection
• Mutilate my fingers so I cannot play any instrument ever again
• Stop reading (although having no eyesight kind of rules that out anyway)
• Spend the rest of my life doing my EX2 project

I'm sorry but I don't plan on getting my P's any time soon. Maybe in the next century, when they invent automatic, self-routing hover cars, will I rethink this resolution.